I’m Reaching My Mid 30s. Here’s What I Wish I’d Done Differently in My 20s.
To set myself up for success from the start
When I finished university at 24, I thought I had all the time in the world to figure things out.
I blinked. A decade passed.
Looking back, there are a few key things I could’ve done differently in my 20s to be further ahead today.
1. Not screw up exams to attend a party
I studied at a practical university but wanted to switch to a theoretical one. The propaedeutic certificate was my entry ticket.
To get the certificate, I had to pass two resits. If I failed, the next shot would be a year later.
I made some poor choices — like dating someone who:
- Didn’t care about studying
- Loved substances
- Lived to party
Their friend threw a massive party. I didn’t care to go. But I let myself be pressured. “You’re my girlfriend, everyone will hassle me if you don’t show up!
Spoiler: no one cared.
I went, and — as expected — screwed up my exam.
When no one gives a f*ck about your goals, you should.
2. Switch Bachelor studies
I picked my major to appease a stepparent and fit into a box others put me in.
Two classmates influenced my thinking.
- One got her propaedeutic certificate in year one, then switched to something she actually liked.
- The other stuck with the program and planned to switch after graduating.
Still stuck in people-pleasing mode, I echoed the second girl.
I should’ve followed the first girl’s lead — get the certificate, then pivot.
3. Do a Master’s Degree
Just to get it out of my head.
Even if only for bragging rights and increased perceived status in society.
After attaining my Bachelor in Business Administration, I was motivated to continue. I wanted to jump right into a Master’s in Chinese Studies — my study of choice (at the time) — but lacked the theoretical foundation. Money was another block.
I was told by my preferred uni, “go to China for a year, then try applying again.” I found this advice too vague and uncertain.
Over time, I’ve let go of this idea.
The degree would satisfy me personally. Although it’d stroke my ego, it would also make me unemployable, without hard, sellable skills.
This window has closed.
It’s time to move on.
4. Acquire a hard skill
Then sell it. To an employer, as a freelancer — whatever works.
“Do what you love” is easier when you have more privilege and a larger safety net.
It’s better to get a job you can sustain (see next point) or like enough. Do the job, take the money, and build whatever you want on the side.
This way, you don’t waste mental and emotional space plotting escape routes.
5. Get a job I like
Like, not love.
Then, from the safety and security of this job, worked on:
- Dreams
- Side hustles
- Passion projects.
Full-time, part-time, a 4-day job. It doesn’t matter.
However much is needed to get by — without falling into survival mode.
6. Stop trying to escape the rat race.
I used to think ditching my job to “start freelancing” equalled freedom.
It didn’t. It ruined me financially.
Freelancing never worked (for me). I do not enjoy client work. The instability keeps me on edge. Eery client project gave me stress, knowing I had to perform and satisfy the client, or else.
Just get a hard skill, do a job you can sustain, ideally get a job you like.
Build from there.
7. Have a savings goal
After covering essentials, pick a number as a savings goal (say 80%), and save that.
Mine goal should’ve been: save towards a downpayment.
Cheap rent doesn’t mean you’re safe forever. If your building gets sold and the new owners decide to triple the rent? You’re screwed.
It’s a matter of time before you either get a rent hike, or you get kicked out of the apartment. Owning is safer and the “easiest” investing option that protects your money from inflation.
Bonus: subletting while you’re on vacation. Someone else pays your mortgage, while your net worth goes up.
8. Start going to therapy earlier.
It’s never too early to tidy your mental space.
I used to think therapy was for wimps and that “I didn’t need it.”
Everything changed when I found the right therapist.
We unpacked years of buried mess. It wasn’t easy — but it was necessary.
You can’t build on an shaky foundation.
Know yourself. Choose to invest in your growth. Heal your stuff, one issue at a time, as early as you can.
9. Build a career in my home country
I went (and stayed) abroad, straight after graduating.
My initial job choices weren’t strategic. Rent was due, I needed money to pay it, so I took whichever jobs I could get.
Looking back, it would’ve been easier to gain work experience and build seniority in my home country before moving abroad.
Then again, everything always makes sense in hindsight, doesn’t it?
